Our closest friends are friends that we have had for years, people that we may even treat like family and are there for them when times are happy and when times are hard and they show that they feel and do the same for us. We have all at one time or another have had petty arguments and disagreements with our friends but at the end of the day these are people that we care for and love, so those moments of stress on the friendship never last because you can find some common ground.
But what about those times when you have given solid positive solutions and advice to your friend when they are going through something tough and they just don’t listen or they think you shouldn’t give them any advice at all? putting you in a stressful situation because you are only trying to be a real friend and lookout for their best interest. Then the real questions becomes, should you back off even if they continue to ask for your help or advice but are not taking it or applying it or should you continue to try to get through to them no matter how long it takes for them to figure things out?
Well in my opinion, it all depends on the type of relationship that you have with your friend, this is because if you have a really close relationship with your friend then you will know and see changes in behavior and/or if things are not comfortable within your friend life or within the relationship you have with them and usually they will give you hints or actually tell you whats going on. When you have a friend that is going through difficult issues and it’s affecting their life in a negative way or they’re involved in a lot of drama, then as a friend you can talk to them and help sort out how they can fix their situation.
As a friend you still have boundaries to not over step with anything you do or say because it may have a negative affect on your friendship. I will also say it depends on the type of situations your friend is in as well to make a decision to get yourself involved with them making choices that will affect them and their lives. For example, If you have a friend that is in a toxic relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse, be very careful of the advice you may give them because again the advice you give may affect your friendship that you have with them, but I do think you should voice your opinion to your friend because you care about their well being. I think it’s o.k to give your friend advice based on things you may do if you were in the situation they are in.
When dealing with friends and issues they have with romantic relationships, I think this is a time when you should mind your business and let them figure out things for themselves because it’s one of those things when you can give advice to them till you’re blue in the face about better ways to get out of a toxic relationship but they still will do the opposite because their feelings are involved with the choices they make, so it’s wise to just state your opinion but then leave it alone if they decide to not take your advice, this is with the exception of a friend that needs help in terms of safety reasons such as a physical abusive relationship then and only then I feel you should do your apart and help your friend as much as possible.
We can only do but so much when it comes to another adult choosing the choices that they make, especially if it’s not what we would choose, but I still believe you can be a great friend and mind your business at the same time, because ultimately we all make choices that we want to make even when it may not be the best choice. As a friend you should be able to talk to your friend and express why you feel their choice maybe be wrong or cause more harm than good, whether its relationship, career, parenting or personal advice, you can only give them your advice, opinion or other options based on your own experiences but you can’t force them to take your advice, so just focus on your life and choices and mind your own business because your common sense maybe different for them and what they see as common sense and stressing about their issues is not helping your life, it’s adding negativity to your life because they can’t see your advice as good advice for them and their situations and this can lead to a bad friendship if you continue to keep sticking your nose into their situation with unwanted advice.
Be there for your friend as they need you to be, but don’t over step that boundary to cause more confusion, let them come to you and if you give your opinion in a positive manner and they can understand your point and trust it then they will make a decision based on what’s best for them and thank you for being a friend to them to help them in that decision but don’t keep poking at them with advice and opinions that are non effective to them and don’t be judgmental because of their choices either, just be supportive but clear about where you stand.
At the end of the day, people are going to do what they want to do, regardless of anything anyone has to say friend or not, isn’t that what we all do, just respect your friend decisions and be there for them when they need you to be even when they make decisions that may seem wrong to you, be there to help motivate and pick them back up and get them back on track. but in the mean time focus on what will make you happy and be hopeful that your friend is doing the same.